How to Give Sane Life Advice
Soul Letter #53
Hello👋 folks, Shubham here.
I am back with another edition of Soul Letter 🗞
I am sort of a writer and people believe I have an answer to all their conundrums. Therefore my wisdom is called upon more often nowadays.
Honestly, you feel slightly wiser considering your peers value your views.
But it's in human nature to dole out free advice. It leads to a sense of superiority that we understand life better.
The Internet has given wings to everyone when clearly some of them ought to stay grounded. Everyone is a Self-Help Guru. They keep babbling rote hacks to earn views.
However, the solution which works for one might not work for others.
I always keep this in mind whenever I get asked for advice.
Along with that, there are several other tips I follow to give lucid suggestions.
Wanna have a look?.
Here they are.
Add Honey to The Medicine
In a podcast, renowned self-help legend Mark Manson said he tries to add honey to the medicine.
Most bloggers(including myself) have been doing this unintentionally. We often talk about our failures and shortcomings along with ways we handled them.
Like honey, sharing our vulnerabilities makes the solutions a bit sweeter and easier to digest.
It acts as a pacifier for the person seeking help.
Keep Yourself in Their Shoes
A rookie mistake we make while giving advice is failing to comprehend the point of view of others.
Our suggestions are dominated by our biases and thought processes.
Try to see the world from their eyes.
For example, let’s say an obese friend of yours wants to get fit.
A common piece of advice would be to start going to the gym but maybe gym isn’t their thing. Maybe they love sports, in which case playing badminton or football is a more apt solution.
Pragmatic Over Quixotic
There’s is no point in giving advice that isn’t practical.
People go overboard while handing out tips.
In a self-help book, I read the author suggested making a timetable for every hour of your day.
Facepalm right?
Hacks like these require a great degree of discipline which most of us lag.
Next time, ask yourself will you be able to follow your own words?
Do They Really Want Advice?
Here’s an interesting one.
Most of the people asking for advice don’t need one. They are only looking for an outlet.
When my friends ask me for counsel, I let them talk. They subconsciously know what should be done and usually will come up with decent pointers.
Funnily enough, they believe I helped them but instead they knew the solution all along.
I just reiterate their words.
Do Periodic Checks
Without knowledge action is useless and knowledge without action is futile.
-Abu Bakr
What’s the point of giving advice if the concerned party ceases to apply it?
Therefore, accountability plays a crucial role in the process.
Do periodic checks, ask for feedback, and track the results.
Along with your mentee, you too will benefit.
These reviews will highlight the limitations of your advice, how to optimize them, and make them more actionable.
Final Thoughts
These are the rules I try to abide by. I assume they work since people keep coming back for my insights.
If you would like to add anything mention it in the comments.
Hope you enjoyed this edition.
Signing off for today :) Until next time, Houdoe! 🙋♂️]
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That was deep!!!