Indecisiveness: Our Kryptonite
Soul Letter #76
Hello👋 folks, Shubham here.
I am back with another edition of Soul Letter 🗞
Do you find yourself in limbo while making important life decisions?
If yes then is it incompetence, inability to act, or just another coping mechanism?
I have been guilty of this, allowing someone else to call the shots for me.
But I assume I am not the only one suffering from this ailment.
There are multiple reasons for this sluggish behavior, let’s have a look at a few of them.
Pro-Procrastinators
Let’s begin with the most obvious one.
We all have mastered the craft of procrastination.
Keep delaying the work until it’s on the verge of becoming a roadblock.
It’s basic human nature, the drive to delay is often stronger than the drive to act.
This behavior hinders our decision-making skills.
However, at times this delay leaves us with less optimal choices.
Perfectionist Bug
People bitten by a perfectionist bug are left handicapped by the desire to achieve truly worthy feats.
All of their work is stalled in wait for the ideal circumstances to paint their exquisite masterpiece.
Since perfectionists put a lot of pressure on themselves, it adds fuel to procrastination.
End result, they find it hard to make key decisions.
The Paradox of Choice
Have you bought any new products recently?
From deodorants to smartphones, the market is swamped with countless options.
Each one of us wants to choose the best but how does an average guy like you or me do so?
We compare online, read reviews, and ask for recommendations.
Choice overload doesn’t help our cause.
Nowadays with the numerous options, it’s hard to pick the right one.
Fear of missing out further aggravates the problem.
Contrary to belief the increase in choices enhances the probability of leaving us more unsatisfied with our decisions.
No wonder we scroll NETFLIX for hours before finding something worth watching.
Fuzzy Priorities
A few years back while I was a working Software Engineer, my friends and I used to debate whether to switch jobs or pursue higher studies.
Every week we came up with new arguments both for and against the possible alternatives.
However nobody took any concrete decision, we were all talk no show.
The reason behind our indecisiveness was unclear priorities.
Career was obviously a huge thing given we were in our early 20s.
But along with that, we wanted to embrace the newfound freedom from our financial sufficiency.
Taking vacations, going on spontaneous night outs, getting wasted at random pubs, hitting on girls(not me of course), and other fun stuff were at the top of our to-do lists.
Our priorities got mixed up for a while until Covid stuck which finally catapulted us on our receptive journeys.
Many went abroad for higher studies, others switched jobs, while a few like me went back to their family business.
Ownership
For a considerable time, this was the primary reason for my lack of decisiveness.
Who will take ownership if the chosen road hits a dead end?
By allowing others to make my life choices I got the right to admonish them in case things got ugly.
Also, there was a ready-made excuse that this isn’t my fault.
Many of us live with the fear of committing to wrong things which often leaves us committing to nothing.
Taking important life decisions comes along with inherent accountability.
The Illusion
The ideal situation would be to choose the most suitable option from the available ones.
We all know how hard it is, so what’s the next best thing we can achieve?
Keeping all our potential doors open.
Dating apps are a classic example of this. Even with multiple ongoing chats(again not true for me), people seek out new matches.
Maybe the perfect one is still out there waiting to be found.
By not choosing anyone in particular we conjure the illusion that we still have the possibility to make the best bet.
It’s like playing musical chairs where the music never ends.
Final Words
Everything in your life is your responsibility.
At the end of the day, you are one who has to live with those choices irrespective of who made them.
It’s better if you pull the strings. Make bold decisions.
Regardless of the outcome, try to give your best.
Stop pointing fingers at others for your misfirings.
I learned this lesson the hard way which is why I strive to be more proactive now.
Indecisiveness is a disorder the consequences of which can leave you with lifelong guilt.
Why didn’t I say something back then?
Why did I pursue MBA?
I shouldn't have taken up smoking.
I should have paid more attention to my health.
Yada Yada Yada
It’s time to take over the steering wheel instead of riding shotgun.
Hope you enjoyed this edition.
Signing off for today :) Until next time, Houdoe! 🙋♂️