The Elephant in The Room
Soul Letter #44
Hello👋 folks, Shubham here with another edition of Soul Letter🗞
I love the vibe around New Year, especially New Year's Eve.
Last night was one of its kind.
Flying confetti🎊, ear-deafening music, drunk befuddled people, and as the things were getting interesting my WIFI connection went down which led me to abandon the movie in between.
Not being an avid party person, my notion of New Year is hinged solely on movies and TV series.
I had a nice peaceful New Year(it is the same every year), hope our zestful party animals were able to make most of it despite several COVID restrictions.
Let’s talk about the Elephant in the room—New Year Resolutions.
There’s imperceptible pressure today since it’s the 1st of Jan, and you guys might be expecting a strong motivating newsletter that will help you magically flip your life.
But hey! the bunch of unhealthy practices we have picked up throughout our lives won’t disappear in an instant. Although I admit there’s something surreal about the new year which gives an extra push to pursue goals.
According to Forbes, 80% of New Year’s resolutions will get abandoned around this month.
Well, that’s depressing :(
Here is my take on keeping manageable New Year resolutions.
Going Way Overboard
The common mistake people make with New Year resolutions is going overboard.
You haven’t exercised in your entire life, and now you will be hitting GYM 7-days a week for 12 months straight. Well, good luck with that.
I would suggest start small. Make pragmatic resolutions.
No point in committing to goals that will inevitably let you down.
Setting Too Many Resolutions
An extension of the above point is creating a plethora of goals.
Getting healthy, switching careers, finding the right one, quit smoking, and Bluh Bluh Bluh!
Pledging to multiple resolutions can become overwhelming. And the failure of anyone might spark a chain reaction which may lead to abandoning others too.
Of all the goals, focus primarily on a few top-priority tasks.
You can go a little easy on the secondary ones.
Focus on Habits/Systems Instead of Outcomes
James Clear talks a lot about this.
We love outcomes. Outcomes give us something tangible which means our toil was successful.
What if you are doing the right things, but the results aren’t as profound?
That’s when we usually quit.
Another aspect of this is what if you achieve your goal? What’s next?
You will become complacent.
Avoid setting definite goals like “I will lose 10kgs” or “I will get my promotion”. Instead say “I will exercise and eat healthy”, “I will stay updated with all the latest tech relevant to my field.”
All the things you desire will be a byproduct of your habits.
Since you are not expecting any specific, outcomes won’t influence your habits.
This is called playing an infinite game where there is no significant failure, only growth.
Dealing With Slumps and Relapses
Let’s say you are completely determined to turn around your life this year.
You are hitting GYM regularly, haven’t touched a cigarette since a week, acing your career – basically doing all the right things.
And then life happens, a tragedy to your loved one or a sudden breakup pushes you off track.
Your routine is compromised. The motivation is not there anymore.
These are the tricky periods to deal with.
Take a break, give yourself time to make peace with adversity.
But don’t wait for the next 12 months to make your comeback.
Hit the ground running as soon as you feel alright.
Stick to a Theme
What’s common between us and New Year’s resolutions?
Both are broken (author and his sense of humor).
Moving on, I break New Year’s resolutions as if I got paid to do so.
A cool alternative to New Year’s resolutions is Themes.
Instead of resolutions choose a theme for the year. Mindfulness, Health, Career, Balance, Reset, Love, Invest, Own are a few to choose from.
My theme for 2021 was being a Better Software Engineer. Clearly, I didn’t do a commendable job ☹
Anyways my theme for 2022 is Consistency. I want to commit to a few endeavors and stay consistent.
Themes are subtle and less intimidating than goals.
Resolutions are like no-nonsense PT teachers constantly nagging us to do stuff while themes are easy-going art teachers giving gentle reminders.
Usually, people chose a single theme for a year, you can choose two - one primary and the other secondary.
My secondary theme is Abundance. With an abundance mindset, I will attract better opportunities, people, and a host of other things.
Happy New Year folks! hope you enjoyed this edition.
Signing off for today :) Until next time, Houdoe! 🙋♂️
Previous Soul Letters 🗞
My first read of this year and every word written was worth reading.